When last we spoke I'd made a request to pool resources on a "kittens in silly hats" project. I'm still awaiting more submissions. However I would like to share with you an excerpt from an speach I am working on for video broadcast to the interwebs for promotion of my current project "Cats in Hats: A report on the strange nature of feline skull-garmentry, and it's effect upon the wearer."
In my many years studying cats and kittens, I have never once come across any findings that lead me to believe that ancient peoples made kittens wear silly hats. In fact, as best as I can tell, kittens in silly hats did not become widely popular until the arrival of the internet somewhere around 100 years ago. I find myself fascinated by this subject, that we as a people have begun doing something in excess which has never been done before. It is my express purpose that I engage in a study of the feline reaction to ludicris headgear. While humans rarely wear strange or silly hats, for fear of mockery or lice, it seems entirely commonplace for photo albums to be populated with pictures of cats in hats which you or I would only wear to costume parties, or queer hat day at work.
Why are so many interested in stripping cats of their cranial dignity? Why must we parade them around in strange dressings? Why not a regular cap or visor? I shall undertake such responsibility as to discover the truthy answers to these mysterious questions! However I need the help of the scientific community. I encourage the community of science to commit to me resources of time and pictures! By-for which I shall further my knowledge, and in turn further the knowledge of the world. So I ask, that anyone with a camera, and a cat of sufficent courage and amicable disposition thereto, volunteer for the glorious cause of feline scientry!
Should you be a person or kitten who finds this to be the case, please email KittenScience@gmail.com pictures of Kittens in strange or silly hats! Title the email "Kitten Science", so that it doesn't get disregarded. Please apprise me of all available, and unavailable information (time, temp, breed, location of photo, name, I need everything!) In the world of Kitten Science there is no room for error! I need to be certain of my findings, and this could rest on your accuracy! So I encourage you to take as many pictures of your Kitten(s) in as many different silly hats as possible! And be careful, Kittens are a fickle creature, they may happily volunteer, but become grouchy when they see the silly hats they'll be wearing. Just reassure them that it's for the sake of Kitten Science and remember, SAFETY FIRST!
The last bit you will no doubt recognize from my previous post. However any comments you have as to ways I could better this speach are wholely appreciated! I am planning a press conference to announce my new project and am very nervous, however do not let this lessen your criticism!
Thank you!
Adam Pierson, PhD
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